Episode 1: Pilot
Episode 2: The Big Bran Hypothesis
Episode 3: The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
Episode 4: The Luminous Fish Effect
Episode 5: The Hamburger Postulate
Episode 6: The Middle Earth Paradigm
Episode 7: The Dumpling Paradox
Episode 8: The Grasshopper Experiment
Episode 9: The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization
Episode 10: The Decay Loobenfeld
Episode 11: The Pancake Batter Anomaly
Episode 12: The Jerusalem Duality
Episode 13: The Bat Jar Conjecture
Episode 14: The Nerdvana Annihilation
Episode 15: The Pork Chop indeterminacy
Episode 16: The Peanut Reaction
Episode 17: The Tangerine Factor
Sheldon: We would like to restore to us our sperm.
Nurse: Can I leave it in containers or want to see if I have a crystal vase?
Sheldon: Actually I would prefer something with a plug.
Leonard: Oh, no!
Sheldon: What! We have to drive!
Leonard: New station?
Sheldon: Of course.
Leonard: Significant improvement compared to the old neighbor.
Sheldon: A transvestite ninety pounds with a skin disease? Yes it is.
Leonard: We did not want to interrupt you, we live across the hall.
Penny: Oh, nice!
Leonard: We do not live together, that is ... we live together, but in separate rooms heterosexual!
Leonard: We need to widen our circle of friends.
Sheldon: I have a wide circle: I have two hundred and twelve friends on My Space!
Penny: So, guys, what do you do for fun around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
Sheldon: Penny, I sit here I am.
Penny: So, sit down next to me.
Sheldon: No, I sit there.
Penny: What is the difference?
Sheldon: What's the difference?!
Leonard: That's it!
Sheldon: In the winter this place is quite close to the heater to stay warm, but not so close as to cause sweating. Summer is in the midst of the breeze created by the open windows there and there. And 'in front of the TV at an angle that is not so direct as to discourage the conversation, nor so far as to create a distortion of the parallax. I could go on, but I think I explained my reasons.
Penny: (to Raj) So, you work with Leonard and Sheldon in college?
(Raj does not respond)
Penny: Oh, sorry! Do you speak English?
Howard: She can speak English, they just can not talk to women.
Penny: Really? And why?
Howard: It 'a kind of loser. Juice?
Sheldon: You have not finished with her, right?
Leonard: Our kids are smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Do not forget imaginary.
Episode 02: The Big Bran Hypothesis
Leonard: Here. Pad Thai without peanuts.
Howard: But it contains peanut oil?
Leonard: I'm not sure. Keep an eye on Howard, if you start to swell.
Leonard: Men do favors without expecting sex to women.
Sheldon: Those are the men who have just had sex.
Leonard: As you will be hard to believe, most people do not classify their breakfast
based on the number of fibers contained.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but I think we both found it very useful at times.
Leonard: Do you realize that if Penny wakes up, there is no reasonable explanation of why we're here.
Sheldon: I've just given a reasonable explanation.
Leonard: No, you gave me an explanation. Reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.
Sheldon: Do not be ridiculous. I have no peers.
Episode 03: The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
Raj: I took!
Howard: Sheldon, Raj took. Use the spell of sleep! Sheldon ... Sheldon?
Sheldon: I have the Sword of Asaroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon, Raj helps!
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the master of the sword!
Howard Leonard, be careful!
Leonard: Damn, man, we're dying here!
Sheldon: So long, peasant!
Leonard: The bastard was teleported!
Raj: the Sword of Asaroth is selling on eBay.
Leonard: We have been betrayed for money? Who the hell are you?
Sheldon: I'm a night elf rogue. Did not you read the wording relating to the characters?
Raj: Wait a minute! Someone just clicked "Buy Now!"
Howard: I am the master of the sword!
Sheldon: I'm all sudato.Qualcuno connects to Second Life to take a swim?
Sheldon: A Penny for your thoughts.
Howard: Love is not 'a sprint, it's a marathon ... a long search that ends only when you fall into your arms ... or I'll shoot with pepper spray.
Sheldon: I noticed that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving their legs. Since winter is upon us, we must assume that he is showing his sexual availability.
Howard: I do not know. Work in the same laboratory.
Leonard: So what?
Howard: There will be no problems. Believe me, I know. In the area of sexual harassment, I've become an expert.
Leonard Leslie, I would like to propose an experiment ...
Leslie: Wait a minute. I'm trying to figure out how long it takes an oxygen-iodine laser beam from 500 kW to heat my soup with spaghetti.
Leonard: I've already 'done. Two seconds. About 2.6 for the soup.
Episode 04: The Luminous Fish Effect
Leonard: Howard has brought a girl?
Sheldon: A more plausible explanation is that his work in biorobotics did an incredible leap forward.
Sheldon: It 'great. Guardami.Sono in the real world of ordinary people living their lives of common and gray all day.
Penny: Thank you.
Sheldon: No, thank you. And thank you, ordinary person.
Mother of Sheldon (addressed to Penny and Leonard): You know, you two really do make a good couple.
Leonard: No, we are ... we are not a couple. We are single. We are two singles. Yeah, like the slices ...
wrapped individually ... we are friends.
Penny: Oh, my God, this is the best fruit tart I have ever eaten.
Mother of Sheldon: It 's always been a favorite of Sheldon. You know what is the secret ingredient?
Penny: Love?
Mother of Sheldon: The lard.
Episode 05: The Hamburger Postulate
Penny: Okay, my boss says or order now or you go there and you see again.
Howard: What do you suggest to someone who has developed a hungry after a morning lifting weights and cardio funk?
Penny: A shower.
Sheldon: You're a lucky man, Leonard.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: You're talking to one of three men in the Western Hemisphere able to follow the thread of this discourse.
Leonard: Well, what do you think?
Sheldon: I said that I follow. Not that I care.
Penny: Well, a little bird told me that you and Leslie have combined last night.
Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: Who should I contact if I want to book this table permanently?
Penny: Um ... I do not know ... A psychiatrist?
Episode 06: The Middle Earth Paradigm
Raj: If only I had her sicurezza.Ho such difficulty talking to women, or in the vicinity of women ... sometimes even effeminate men.
Sheldon: There, there. Want to talk?
Leonard: No.
Raji: Thank goodness. I had no other, as well as "There, there."
Penny: Oh God, what's wrong with me?
Leonard: No, you're perfect.
Penny: I'm not perfect.
Leonard: Yes, you are.
Penny: Why are not all boys like you?
Leonard: Why 'if they were all like me, the human race would not survive.
Episode 07: The Dumpling Paradox
Sheldon: Leonard, you have a moment?
Leonard: Let me guess, this thing does not suit you.
Sheldon: Where do I start?
Leonard: It's up to you. The choice to head out.
Sheldon: First, we ospiti.Francamente, if I could afford the rent, I would ask you to leave.
Penny: It 's my gown that?
Howard: Yes, sorry. You will do the wash.
Penny: Do not worry. Keep it.
Howard: When will perfect human cloning, so I will order twelve.
Leonard: Howard, you do not see that you are using?
Howard: Who cares? Last night, when she took off her blouse, I was moved.
Sheldon: Where is he, it's punishable by death.
Chinese restaurant waiter: I come from Sacramento.
Raj: There we do to make a decision? The children are starving in India alone. There is an Indian who is dying of hunger right here.
Episode 08: The Grasshopper Experiment
Leonard: Okay, you really need a card for an honorary member of the Justice League of America?
Sheldon: It 'was in all my wallet since I was five years.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: It says: "Always with you". And 'right here under Batman's signature.
Raj: And that there is Sheldon.Vive with Leonard.
Raj's parents: How nice. As Haroon and Tanvir.
Raj: I do not like Haroon and Tanvir.
Raj's parents: What children dolci.Hanno just adopted the most beautiful child I've ever seen Punjabi.
Leonard: No, we are not like Haroon and Tanvir.
Sheldon: I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.Si, I would like to cancel my subscription to planetario.B huh, I'm sorry too, but just no place for you in my wallet. I understand, but I had to choose between you and the museum of natural history and, frankly, you do not have dinosaurs.
Penny: Sheldon, do you want?
Sheldon: A Diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? Do I want to experiment with alcohol!
Sheldon: Okay. I take a Virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That is rum and coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes
Penny: So ... Coke.
Sheldon: Yes Would you do me the light?
Episode 09: The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization
Sheldon: Leonard, do not get me wrong, but the day you win a Nobel prize, I will begin my research on the drag coefficient of the tassels on flying carpets.
Raj: The only thing missing was to insult: "Your mother."
Leonard: So the whole community 'science must believe the word?
Sheldon: I do not have to, but they should.
Penny: What's this?
Leonard: Oh, do attenzione.E 'my suit pilot Battlestar Galactica classic series.
Penny: Why can not you put it on Halloween?
Leonard: Why 'not' a costume, and 'turn-out gear rider.
Howard: I just checked the room. There are like, 20-25 people inside.
Leonard: Are you kidding!
Penny: Is that all?
Leonard: "Is that all?" In particle physics 25 is Woodstock.
Episode 10: The Decay Loobenfeld
Sheldon: You just lied to Penny.
Leonard: Yes, I did.
Sheldon: And you did it in a way so natural ... no breathing heavily, sweating ... no increase in the absence of physiological responses when the mind is typical of violent sociopaths.
Howard: So, you say?
Sheldon: Well, Penny star in a single date of the musical "Rent" ... that we will not participate, because we're going to a symposium on molecular positronium, held by Dr. Emil Farmanfarmian.
Howard: Wait a minute ... Farmanfarian speak in public, and we have kept from the symposium?
Leonard: Howard, I'm sorry.
Howard: No, you put us in a cage of quarks!
Leonard: I do not know what to say.
Howard: Wow!
Leonard: Howard, listen ...
Howard: No, okay. It 's your Millennium Falcon. You and Chewbacca do whatever you want. Me and Princess Leia will find another way to spend the evening.
Episode 11: The Pancake Batter Anomaly
Leonard: What is Nebraska?
Penny: Well, best of North Dakota ... I guess this joke make you laugh only in Nebraska.
Penny: It 'been a bad holiday! We are all sick over the weekend.
Sheldon: Sick?
Leonard: That's starting!
Sheldon: What kind of disease?
Penny: The influence, I think.
Sheldon: I do not need a "creed". You have to be sure. When the symptoms have occurred for the first time?
Penny: Friday, I think.
Sheldon Friday. In the morning or afternoon?
Penny: I do not know ...
Sheldon: Do you think, woman! Anyone who has blown his nose when?
Sheldon: We have no idea what pathogen Typhoid Penny may have introduced to our environment. Never having been to Nebraska, I'm pretty sure you do not have the same antibodies of the harvesters of grain!
Sheldon: That was a dog?
Leonard: Yes
Sheldon: In the lab?
Leonard: Yes They are teaching the dogs how to operate the centrifuge when the centrifuge will azionino dogs for the blind ... scientists.
Episode 12: The Jerusalem Duality
Dr. Gablehauser: We are working to upgrade our equipment, and gladly accept your advice on our research objectives, and we agree to consider your point of view if you want to use at least 20% of the money to concessoti your grandfather smuggled out from Pyongyang.
Leonard: Well, Dennis, how long have you been in America?
Dennis: A year and a half.
Leonard: Do not tell me ... speak English very well.
Dennis: You too.
Sheldon: Today I went from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart ... you know, the other guy ...
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh, now you're smarter than me!
Leonard: Eat, Sheldon, you will feel better.
Sheldon: Why waste food? In Texas, when a cow is no more milk, do not continue to nourish it, take it and shoot between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused ... Sheldon has stopped making milk?
Penny: So you have a little 'competition. I do not see where is the big problem.
Sheldon: Well, of course I do not see it. You've never excelled at anything.
Penny: I do not understand exactly how he did in the first place to have them friends.
Howard: We liked Leonard.
Howard: It 'a small brown paper bag, but' I have it in front right now. Why should I invent? There are no Ringo here. How can two packs of Ringo help me tomorrow today?
Sheldon: Hello, Humpa Lumpa science.
Sheldon: Because my hopes of winning the Nobel Prize for physics are gone, thank you so much, I decided to concentrate my efforts to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Look. Will solve the crisis in the Middle East by building an exact copy of Jerusalem in the middle of the desert of Mexico.
Dr. Gablehouser: To what end?
Sheldon: You know that movie is like baseball ... "If you build it, he will return."
Dr. Gablehouser: Who is coming?
Sheldon: The Jewish people.
Dr. Gablehouser: And if they were not?
Sheldon: I will make friendly, we will do a buffet.
Sheldon: Hey, Howard, you are jew. If there was another wall of tears, perfectly identical to that of Jerusalem, but close to taco vendors and pharmacies super cheap, you'd still be able to cry in front?
Raji: You know, if we were in India, would be much simpler. Five minutes with his father, twenty goats, and a laptop would be made.
Leonard: Well, we're not in India.
Raji: Okay, so why not do it your way? We find the house on the same floor than Dennis so he can be pathetic to fantasize about her for months and months.
Episode 13: The Bat Jar Conjecture
Penny: Good afternoon and welcome to today's practice of Physics Olympiad. I'm Penny and I will be your host because apparently I had nothing else to do on Saturday afternoon and this thing is not sad at all!
Leslie: One moment, challenged Sheldon Cooper?
Leonard: Yes
Leslie: arrogant, misogynist troglodyte Texas who told me that I should quit my job with the high-energy particles to do the laundry and for raising children?
Leonard: And 'our.
Sheldon: Leslie Winkle.
Leslie: Yeah, Leslie Winkle. The answer to the question "Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a girl?"
Penny: Okay, then. "What actor holds the record for being named" sexiest man alive than ever "by People magazine?
Sheldon: William Shatner.
Leonard: Wait. I do not think Shatner.
Sheldon: Then it must be Patrick Stewart.
Penny: No.
Shekdon: Formal Protest.
Penny: A Tweety semblato of Vedel is a what?
Sheldon: A Romulan.
Penny: Yes, He has semblato Vedel of a Romulan.
Episode 14: The Nerdvana Annihilation
Howard: A time machine of the film "The man who lived in the future"?
Leonard: No. A time machine of the film "Sophie's Choice."
Raji: Man, Sophie could have used it a time machine in that movie. Have you seen? And 'raw.
Howard: If we remove the giant pot could enter the elevator.
Leonard: Yes, but the elevator has been broken for two years.
Sheldon: I was just about to ask you: do you think we should call someone?
Sheldon: Okay, I think we need some basic rules. In addition to the predictable "No shoes in the time machine" and "do not eat into the time machine" I propose adding an "Always wear the pants in the time machine"
Leonard: Agreed.
Howard: I spread a towel.
Sheldon: Leonard, are two in the morning.
Leonard: So what?
Sheldon: So it's up to me.
Leonard: I'm packing all my collections for them to sell the comic book store.
Sheldon: Was it really necessary? If you need money you can always sell the blood. Or the sperm.
Episode 15: The Pork Chop indeterminacy
Howard: I'm sorry, ritardo.Sto are working on a project that could bring on the next Space Shuttle.
Sheldon: How can you be late? I do not even waiting.
Howard: No I never expected. Sometimes you look around and ...
Bam! Howard Wolowitz.
Sister Sheldon: Oh, I once spent 9 months with his head between my legs.
Leonard: I'm sorry?
Sheldon: It 's my twin sister. He thinks it's funny, but
Frankly I never understood.
Sister Sheldon: Anyway, I'm going to make these muffins with oatmeal that you gave, I remember a great glow, and the only thing I remember most is that I did not have 'eyebrows.
Leonard: Come on, my eyebrows?
Sister Sheldon: Yeah, 'I did the whole second grade with false eyebrows drawn from my mother.
Sheldon: But it was for what?
I thought that the difficulty 'of the second program we had made a frown.
Raji: Missy. Do you like pajamas?
Sister Sheldon: I would say yes.
Raji: Well, we have invented ourselves Indians. There is no 'to that.
Howard: Well, my people invented circumcision. There is no 'to that.
Episode 16: The Peanut Reaction
Howard: Well, I love birthdays. Having breakfast with special
French Toast's mother, wearing the crown of the king of the feast, lasers play war with my friends ...
Penny: Yeah, 'See? This is' what ought to have a baby.
Howard: Actually, this is' success last year.
Leonard: Once on my birthday I was walking home from the lesson of cello and saw a lot of cars ever seen in front of the house. I could hear people whispering and felt the smell of the Sacher Torte, my favorite.
Penny: And ...?
Leonard: It turned out that my grandfather had died.
Penny: Oh, my God, it's terrible.
Leonard: Well, it was kind of a birthday party. I could see all my cousins and then there was the cake so ...
Penny: I do not know why he wants to 'he never had one.
Howard: I suppose it's possible, but, for the record, I've never done a threesome but I already know I want it.
Penny Howard, the difference is this: there is a possibility that Leonard has a birthday party before hell freezes.
Howard: Well, if I do a threesome you will not be invitata.Sto kidding, of course, I invite you. You can bring a friend?
Sheldon: Instead of a centrifugal titanium, my parents gave me ... It 'hard to say ... ... I was given a mini-cross bike.
Penny: No!
Sheldon: What kid of 12 years
would want a mini-cross bike?
Penny: All?
Sheldon: What kind of computer do you have? And please do not say "a white".
Sheldon: By the way, a child could hack into your computer system.
Penny: Keep walking.
Sheldon: "1234" is not 'a secure password.
Episode 17: The Tangerine Factor
Leonard: I'm his friend. Will take advantage of its non vulnerabilitaà.
Howard: What? So you're saying that if, out of desperation more than black, you throw it at him and asks you to own it right there, at that moment, you do you go?
Leonard: I said I was his friend, not her gay friend!
Penny: How is this to me?
Leonard: Well, you threw a 80 GB iPod ...
Penny: For once I want to date someone kind, honest, and to take care of me.
Leonard: Why not me?
Penny: You what?
Leonard: How would you like to go out with me?
Penny: Are you asking me out?
Leonard: Yes, that's right ... I'm asking you to leave.
Penny: Wow.
Leonard: I just got caught by your comment on the good guys,
Penny: No, I know.
Lenord, you know, and honest.
Penny: I understand, yes, definitely.
Leonard: So ... is not a problem ...
Penny: Yes
Leonard: Yes what?
Penny: Yes, I would go out with you.
Penny: Why not choose one at random and if you do not like the next time you sit somewhere else.
Sheldon: No, no. And 'madness.
Leonard: Before you say anything, have you ever
heard of Schrodinger's cat?
Penny: Actually, I heard
Schrodinger's cat too.
Leonard: Well.
(THE KISS)
Penny: Okay, the cat and 'alive. Let's have dinner.
